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GW (Was Supposed to) Bring This Week's Mayhem from D.C. to the Reilly Center

Note: I was juuuuuust about to post this when the news dropped that the game is canceled due to GW going on a COVID-19 pause. I'm not letting this go to waste, so here's the preview with some light tweaks.


There sure has been a lot of mayhem in Washington D.C. lately, huh?

I can't remember ever seeing anything like this, but we shouldn't be surprised. Our norms and rules have been forever changed, benefitting the haves and hurting the have-nots. Everything we have cherished is forever tarnished.

Of course, I'm talking about the relaxed transfer rules that are partially why three George Washington basketball players left during Christmas break. Not sure what else you could have thought I meant, sorry if I was vague at the start.

When GW lost possibly their best player in Jameer Nelson Jr., many of us threw dirt on their grave. Some of us who will remain nameless may have proclaimed that the Colonizers were the new Fordham. How you could you blame someone (me) for thinking that? The son of St. Joe's royalty and Maceo Jack were two of their best options last season. Not to mention, the end of games in G-Dub's nonconference were the best new comedy to debut during the pandemic.

I know it must be surprising for you to hear, but I may have been wrong. GW has had a fairly impressive start to the A10 season. They destroyed Fordham in the Rams first game of the season, so at least G-Dub is ahead of Dayton right now. They then split two games in Foggy Bottom last weekend against Duquesne, including a game-winning shot by James Bishop, who finally did something competent at the end of the game. Their home game against UMass-Amherst was postponed on Wednesday, but I'm not sure why. It wasn't COVID and I don't think there was a snowstorm. Hmm... 🤔🤔🤔

Oh wait, it was the domestic terrorists trying to overthrow the U.S. government on Wednesday, goaded on by a certain guy who once went to Fordham, but also many George Washington alumni. We've already talked about G-Dub's, uh, best and brightest like Kellyanne Conway and Roger Stone last year, so let's stick to sports. What better way to "stick to sports" than to talk about a GW alum who tells people to "stick to sports," even though he himself does not "stick to sports." I am talking about Clay "Shitstain" Travis.

If you do not know who this person is, consider yourself lucky. This guy is somehow an even worse Travis than Travis Ford. Shitstain runs a website called Outkick, which we will never link here, and if Barstool is the Sports Breitbart, Outkick is the Sports OAN. With his morbidly obese henchman of logical fallacies and whataboutisms Jason Whitlock doing his bidding, Shitstain has crafted sports news for absolute idiots.

To his army of shitstans, Shitstain has shown vocal support for white supremacy, fascism and spreading a virus that has killed about 350,000 Americans and counting, just so he can watch Purdue and Nebraska play a 17-13 football game at noon on a Saturday. Aside from him siding with racism and negligent homicide via pandemic, Shitstain has also supported losing people money through bad betting picks. There are even parts of Gambling Twitter who go against his bad picks with the FCS (Fade Clay System).

All of this is to say that Shitstain is no different than all of the "Coronabros" and establishment figures he whines about. He is a D.C. swamp monster who went to a factory that has created many of them: George Washington University.

Seven Steps to Victory

  1. James Bishop is a taller, lesser Fatts Russell. He'll shoot a million shots, including from like 35 feet out.

  2. Osun has had a rough offensive start to A10 play, but has roasted G-Dub in every game he's played against them so far.

  3. Based on the St. Joe's game Wednesday, I think Jaren Holmes should probably keep shooting threes, idk...

  4. Holmes and Adaway sounds like a new lawyer drama, Sundays at 9/8c on TNT.

  5. GW has a player named Paar, well folks, he's gonna be a double bogey on our golf course across the street from campus.

  6. Ever since former GW AD Nero burned down the program, the Bonnies have won 5 out of the last 6 games.

  7. Get up by 30 at halftime so we don't have to sweat this one while the Bills are on at 1.

Bonnies Forum Quote of the Day: (after Holmes dropped 38 on Joe's) "Sure Lock Holmes."

George Washington Message Board Quote of the Day: "CNN Town Halls starting to be more appealing. Better strategy, too."

A quick SBUnfurled and Friends podcast note: you can now send us voice messages! We want you to send us stuff about anything you want. You can talk about how great we looked, you can talk about how annoying it is that the Bonnies and Bills are on at the same time, you can talk about what your favorite type of apple is. Questions, comments, comedy bits, I don't care, the more random the better!

Here's the link if you'd like to submit something:

Now let's stop this D.C. mayhem once and for all! Oh wait, the game got postponed?

I guess the mayhem in our nation's capitol will never end...


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