SBUnfurled | St. Bonaventure Bonnies Basketball

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Giving the Blue Raiders a Blue Christmas

The Bonnies finally avoided the Purple Eagle trap on Wednesday for the first time since 2017 and moved to 6-0* on the season. It was finally a dominant performance against a Little 3 opponent and a clutch 3 with less than 20 seconds to go by Ale Vasquez, more importantly, clinched the -14 cover. (* - GPWOAE rankings)


Before heading their merry ways into Christmas break, Bona's will take a road trip to the big city of Murfreesboro, Tennessee. They'll look to extend this 6 geese-a-laying win streak to an even more impressive 7 swans-a-swimming when they face Middle Tennessee State.


I'm always confused by like half of these generic, directional schools that waste millions of MY taxpayer dollars on football, even if I don't live in Tennessee. The state of Tennessee is so narrow, it doesn't even really have a middle, just a left and a right. In that sense, Tennessee is really a reflection of American politics right now, folks.

It's in middle America, yet literally has no middle...

Like many of you, the only time I've volunteered to step foot in that state was in March 2012. What a time that was in the United States. Mitt Romney was a few months away from kind of wearing brownface on Univision. Gotye was topping the charts with their record "Some Bonnie That I Used to Know." We all were yearning for the end of the world on December 21st, but we would have to wait until 2016, when a certain corrupt, fat guy subverted democracy for his own personal gain.

Impeach Joe Castiglione. #tulsacollusion

The Bonnies played in the NCAA Tournament in Nashville at the Predators arena about 5 years before Nashville knew it had a hockey team. We took on Florida State which, unlike us, has a history of using Native Americans as caricatures. It started out beautifully. Nicholson got us out to a 7-0 lead, some guy shaved his head like a friar, all of America started rallying behind us to ruin anyone who was dumb enough to pick FSU to ever win a basketball national title in their bracket.


However, a Kloof missed breakaway dunk, the refs letting the Seminoles in-bound with TWO FEET on the baseline and Da'Quan Cook shooting a 2 instead of kicking to Drew for a 3 at the end meant America's Team would fall 66-63. It was a sad moment, yet the beginning of our rise like a phoenix back to being a college basketball powerhouse after a 12-year hiatus, much of which was because of [REDACTED].

I'm glad TheBigLead dug up dirt on Florida State for us...

Eight years later, Bona's returns to the Volunteer State to take on the Blue Raiders of Murfreesboro. You may remember them from such films as Somehow Upsetting Denzel Valentine and Michigan State in 2016 and the sequel, The Most Predictable 12 Seed-Over-5 Seed Game in NCAA History when they beat Minnesota in 2017.


Since then, there has been a lot less raiding going on at MTSU and a lot more blue. Their coach Kermit the Frog Davis was like a Wiseman and left the state of Tennessee for a better opportunity and more money. He said "hi-ho!" to Ole Miss and was gonzo from Middle Tennessee.


In the two years since, they've been terrible. They were 11-21 last season and before Saturday's game, they are 1-7 against Division 1 teams. They've played three teams that aren't D-I so far. THREE! You think #Gannonfest2019 was insufferable? Try going through 3 weeks of that with whatever the hell Maryville, Mars Hill and Columbia International are.


For such a generic school that only exists for us degenerate gamblers and SEC football teams to beat by 45, MTSU does have very suspicious origins. It was created on September 11, 1911 and called "Middle Tennessee State Normal School." I'm not saying it's harboring terrorists, but that's probably what a foreign terrorist group would name a training facility.

If it's so normal, then why is it in black and white, huh?!?!?

Al Gore Sr. is a Middle Tennessee alum and he gave birth to the guy who somehow lost to George W. Bush. MTSU kept up that winning tradition by also being the home of all-time great Bills QB Kelly Holcomb. Other than that, a couple country musicians went there, who probably just sing songs about their dogs, who stole their tractors, drank their whiskey and left with their spouses.

Seven Steps to Victory

  1. We were down 17 early at Florida Atlantic, so don't do that again with one of these teams that escaped from the Sun Belt.

  2. One of their starters Jayce Johnson is from Buffalo, so lure him out of the arena with Blue Light and free tickets to the inevitable Bills-Texans Saturday afternoon Wild Card game.

  3. Mark Schmidt is the only ten I see, folks. 😍

  4. MTSU isn't good at shooting 3s, so be prepared for them to inevitably shoot 76% from deep for no reason.

  5. Hire Jon Gruden to coach MTSU and ruin some more Raiders.

  6. C-USA is on Bad Beats a lot, so whatever the line is, expect MTSU to somehow not cover in absurd fashion.

  7. Tennessee is in both the Eastern and Central time zones, so don't get confused when Gary Nease says someone brought the ball across the timeline.

Bona Bandwagon Commenter's Score on #a102k20: Bona's 87, MTSU 79 (28 points for Welch in this one. You're welcome Dom!)


Unrealistic 2k Stat of the Game: Osun and English had 6 combined points.

LesterGreen Memorial Bandwagon Quote of the Day: "Wait a second...so you're a Bonnies fan but don't celebrate "mediocre wins". How does that make any sense? Do you see our schedule? If you're looking for whatever standard you call a good win to be happen then idk why you "root" for this team."


Middle Tennessee St. Message Board Quote of the Day: "(Antonio) Green had a nuclear meltdown today. He needs to pray more instead of focusing his life on silly tattoos."


Merry Holidays to all and to all, a good night, except Middle Tennessee.