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Bonnies Face Pepperdine of the East Siena for Franciscan Cup

It’s time for America’s favorite rivalry: the Brother Ed Coughlin Franciscan Cup. The Bonnies had three straight losses, mirroring the mid-2010s recessions of malls or Jeb! mania, then rattled off 3 straight blowouts. We have now won 6 out of 9 Franciscan Cups, an objectively nice performance.

Last season, we won by 42 at the RAC (it’s not the RC anymore; thank you for showing us the error of our ways, Sal Capaccio). People forget that it’s actually named the Reilly Aphrodisiac Center, thanks to the Cattaraugus baby boom 9 months after the 2012 Atlantic 10 title [citation needed].

That 42-point drubbing by way of Nelson Kaputo's hot hand was overseen by new George Washington head man Jamion Christian. Christian bolted the MAAC for the Atlantic 10 after just one season, leaving a coaching vacancy that was filled by top assistant Carmen Maciariello.

Maciariello was also Director of Basketball Operations during the Fran McCaffery late-aughts glory days, when the fan base anointed their program the "Gonzaga of the East" after two tournament wins. He'll try to turn around a program that's been stuck in mediocrity for a decade (129-167 since the McCaffery era ended; Gonzaga is 277-49 in that span).

As for the Bonnies, fans are still reeling from the loss of Osun Osunniyi for the season - er, no - for a few weeks (phew), but the team is also without Jaren English. Normally, when you see someone on the Bandwagon complain about “no English anymore,” it’s not about basketball. It’s really a gift that shows our Franciscan spirit by letting lowly Ohio and outsider Vermont boost their resumes by winning in the RAC. The Franciscanity cancels out between us and Siena, so we don’t need to let them get the first win of their good journey.

We know how much Albany does not care for the average John Q. Everybonnie living west of Schenectady. Cuomo probably thinks Bolivar is the place in South America under a military coup right now. This is a chance for a true outsider to shake up things at the corner of State Street and Washington Avenue in the capitol building, then walk half a mile to the Times Union Center and win a basketball game.

Siena is our sister school, but it’s clear who's the older sibling and who’s the little sis. I mean, it wasn’t very progressive of St. Francis to prevent little Siena from choosing its gender, but I guess they didn’t get the website Slate in 12th century Italy, folks. Back then, “cancel culture” was called “the Crusades.” They also just lost an alleged prized recruit to NJIT, which I thought was a disease made up by anti-vaxxers until like 4 days ago. At least Mark Schmidt had the foresight to say, “you can’t fire us, we quit!”

Seven Steps to Victory:

1. Make sure you stop at a Wegmans near Syracuse, you’ll be without one for 150 miles.

2. Have five players make a circle around Jalen Pickett at all times.

3. Actually make some threes.

4. Bona’s plays better than Siena in the cold, and the high (apologies to Dion Waiters) will be like 35 on Tuesday.

5. Don’t look ahead to the basketball blue blood that is Rutgers.

6. If you make SVP’s Bad Beats again, actually cover ML.

7. Don’t drink from the Franciscan Cup until AFTER the game.

Bona Bandwagon Commenter’s Score on #a102k20: St. Bonaventure 87, Siena 80

Unrealistic Stat of the Game: 5 steals for Ikpeze

Unrealistic Stat of the Game, Part II: Whatever the listed attendance is. You can always count on Siena to inflate its attendance numbers by about 1,000 people.

LesterGreen Quote of the Day: “Yah mang he is to the mades it all up bud juss makes it to up thazz it pal u figure to it outs juss makeup cuz the maci grays sing to the blues the to raspy song he made to it up centsless cryme bub u got it figuret out for to ever 29-2 un de feet for to ever”

Siena message board quote of the day: "After this game I always root for Bonnies, but dont like to admit it, since their fans are for most part obnoxious pompous turds that think its still 1970."

Here is the number one song from this date in 1970:

As we gather around our ESPN+ accounts and WPIG apps, remember the Franciscan Cups of the past, like the 42-point blowout and that one time it was on national TV at 9 on a random Tuesday night. Time to cannonize the Saints and fire on all cylinders, folks.


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